No one really likes change

+JMJ+

I have moved back to Louisville for the final weeks leading up to my departure for Rome. I spent this summer in Lexington so I was able to be near the Totus Tuus program, and honestly that left me with more free time on my hands than I can remember.

Ever since high school I have had summer jobs, sports practices, epic travel plans, Totus Tuus in Chicago, etc, and although I had a job this year it was not very time consuming. As a coordinator for the program, most of the leg work was completed during the school year and then I had the joy of watching the program unfold throughout the summer. There were the occasional emails, checking in at parishes, and helping the team fill water balloons on Thursday nights so they did not have to stay up until the wee hours of the morning, but other than that I was free to fill my time as I wished.

I found myself starting each day just asking the Holy Spirit to take me on an adventure, to fill my day with something fun and with opportunities to glorify the Lord. As a result, my summer was filled with adventures, good memories, relaxation, prayer, and reminiscing.

I discovered this summer that I am not the best at relaxation. I have always busied myself with some task or another, taken up a hobby to pass the time and although all of those things are good, I was just doing something to be doing something. I took this summer as an opportunity to grow in knowledge of myself and prepare for the 'big move'. I learned several things about myself, one of which is that I do not like change.

This summer has been one of transition full of challenge and beauty. I have learned to just be. To be with the Lord, to be in the present moment, to be okay with not having a set job or role, and to embrace  change.

Change is hard. We don't always realize how much we love a place, or how many memories we have until we move on, and then all of a sudden every memory and every feeling comes to mind and we realize how much of our life has happened in that specific place and time.

Lexington, Kentucky is one of those places in my life. As I was sitting on my floor listening to Josh Garrels surrounded by my clothes and books, I started to pack up my belongings to move back home to Louisville. I realized just how much has happened in my life while living in Lexington over the past four years, and how much I was leaving behind.

It was sad! I was nostalgic, and slightly emotional, well...because I am slightly emotional quite often, BUT mainly because my life is changing very quickly and I am not able to really do much about it. Although I am excited and so happy and blessed to be going to graduate school, the change is still uncomfortable. But why? Why is change so uncomfortable?

I think it is actually a blessing in disguise. As Winnie the Pooh says (clearly one of the great thinkers of our time) "how lucky I am to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard."

Our good memories and relationships are what make it hard to change, the situations or opportunities that force us to move on also force us to remember the wonderful times we have had, and then to part with them. There is also a certain comfort in the known and expected. I am ready and excited to move to Rome, but I have no clue what to expect and that warrants some concern. I realize change happens for many reasons, some voluntary and some not, but for those of us who are in our twenties it seems to happen on a regular basis and in connection to graduation, higher education, job offers, relationships, families, and the reasons go on for ages. We are in a time of transition.

So what are we supposed to do with this? Wonderful memories are waiting to be made, new adventures to begin, and opportunities are knocking but we must first pack up our things and be ready to move when we open that door of change. Take courage, have confidence, and above all trust! In moving on with life you do not have to let go of memories even if you must move from places. Cherish memories and take them with you, but do not let them hold you back or diminish the beauty of the new experience. If it is hard to experience change, let it be hard. If you are sad or 'slightly' emotion, let yourself be sad and 'slightly' emotional, allow yourself time to process and then be ready to embrace the future.

All in all, I realize I am only able to move on because I am confident it is what the Lord is asking of me. I go forward because he calls me forward. Finding inspiration from the words of Blessed (soon to be Saint!) John Paul II, "be not afraid!" Go head strong into the change and the future that awaits for God has beautiful plans ahead.

No one really likes change, but alas, it is necessary to experience the greatness of God's plan. So...onward to Rome!

I follow Christ

+JMJ+

I am moving to Rome.

That sentence is a simple statement, composed of only five words, but in those five words is a significant life change. In a little over a month I will pick up my life and move to Rome, Italy for at least two years. What takes me to Rome? Graduate school, naturally.

The Pontifical University of the Holy Cross, referred to as Santa Croce (the Italian name), is a university and catholic seminary in the heart of Rome that offers a program in Church Communications. It is one of two schools in the world that offer this program (the other of which is also in Rome, less than a mile away). The goal of the program is to develop communications professionals to work for the Church so that the Church is better able to transmit the faith in a secular society amongst public opinion.

With this degree I would be able to work for a radio station, newspaper, television station, work in a communications office, etc. My dream job is to be the spokesperson for the Vatican, we will see if that happens! Until that day, I would like to work in a media relations office or communications office for a diocese, writing press releases and statements for bishops and helping to create and maintain a positive catholic image for a diocese.

There are a variety of reactions and questions I get once people hear I am moving to Rome. The first reaction is excitement followed by "do you speak italian?"

No. I do not speak Italian.

Yes. I realize that might be a problem.

I will be going to an italian language immersion program for the month before my classes start, and I have begun the process of learning basic italian this summer. My favorite and most needed phrase for survival is "Ho bisogno di un cafe," which means "I need coffee." See! I am good to go!

The next questions usually pertains to how long I will be there or when will I come back to visit. To the first, I will be in Rome for at least two years to complete one degree, and if I choose I can stay two more years to complete a higher degree. To the second, I am not sure when I will come home first, I can't imagine being able to stay away for long, but I also need to immerse myself in the culture and language and come out of my comfort zone.

Although I am aware this is a beautiful opportunity and it will be a wonderful adventure, I am also aware that it will be tough. I will know about three people in the whole country, studying a subject I have never studied academically in a new language, and I will be far away from the comforts of home. My life is changing completely and that makes me a tad nervous. More deeply rooted than the nervousness is a beautiful sense of peace  and trust because I am not going to Rome just because I want to or I can, I am going because I follow Christ. This is where He is calling me, and I know in my heart this is how He wants to use my life to glorify Him.

So yes, I am nervous, but I think that is natural when being removed from the familiarity of home and loved ones. I am extremely blessed to have the family and friends that I do, and being away from them for an extended period of time will be hard. But at the root of this change is the surety of Christ. No matter where I go, He is there. I go with the Holy Spirit, as a daughter of the Father, and with my heart settled in the Eucharist, and with that...onward to Rome!