+JMJ+
Endings lend themselves to reflection. You are able to look at an experience as a whole, retrospectively, and the bits and pieces that were once unclear or downright confusing along the way tend to make more sense.
In the past few weeks, my first year in Rome has been winding down and coming to an end.
More than reflecting on all that has happened this year, which could fill volumes, I keep returning to the moments before I embarked on this adventure.
Before I left the States I was filled with uncertainty. There was no guarantee that I would like Rome, that I would make any friends, that I would pass the first semester of classes, or that I would even find my way to my hotel from the airport.
More prominent than this feeling of uncertainty though, was the feeling of trust.
Not just trust, but radical trust.
This trust was rooted in the Lord because I had discerned that moving to Rome was his will for me and being assured of his will, I was sure that everything would pan out.
This trust did not guarantee the success in my endeavors, but it did guarantee that the Lord had a purpose for these adventures in my life.
This trust is thrilling and freeing because it confidently throws all
uncertainty to the wind and leaps forth into the endless sea of
possibilities ahead. When took this leap there was a rush of adrenaline and excitement because for the first time in my life I felt that I was truly going to be challenged.
I have faced challenges before, in grueling sports practices or while studying for a particularly difficult exam, but in these challenges I was always fairly confident I would succeed because I had been continuously training or studying for such occasions. In moving to Rome I had no reason to believe that I was prepared to handle what was ahead because I had no idea what was actually ahead!
This first year was hard, probably one of the hardest things I have ever done, but it was absolutely beautiful.
I have attached a link to my 'YEAR IN REVIEW!' video. I put this video together for my class as a surprise and I think I enjoyed their reactions to the video more than the video itself. Most of them had no idea I had secretly gotten these pictures and I also worked in several inside jokes. It is an inside look at the life and love found in the Church.
Disclaimer, it's in Italian, and some dork does an opening comment, but past that, it's a quick sneak peak into my life this past year.
Know of my prayers and I look forward to seeing everyone when I am home in August! Oh how time flies!
Monday, June 30, 2014
Saturday, June 7, 2014
Plesantly Surprised
+JMJ+
When one is about to move to another country or make a huge life change, there are two main things that happen; you receive more advice than you could ever know what to do with, and you are warned of all of the possible things that could go wrong.
Before moving to Rome, I actively sought advice, but all of the warnings made me a tad nervous.
The typical, "Watch out for your purse, pickpocketers are sneaky there!" or "Be careful of the cabs you choose, not all of them are official and they will try to rip you off," were frequent warnings and very good to be aware of, but there was one warning that actually made me nervous.
"You are going to the heart of the Church, which is beautiful, but you are also going to the heart of the politics of the Church...don't be surprised if you become disenchanted with the faith."
That is a strong warning...and several people shared this sentiment.
I am no stranger to Church politics. My college experience taught me very well that those who work for the Church are human just like the rest of us, and this leads to frustration and politics regardless of the supernatural mission of the Church.
Given this warning, I came to Rome expecting to experience the politics everyone was referring to; to become frustrated with being one of only a handful of lay people in a school full of seminarians and priests, to be less respected because I am one of the youngest students in my program, and to be misunderstood in my intentions in studying at the school because I am a woman (Occasionally people think women studying at pontifical universities/for the Church in general are in favor of women's ordination to the priesthood so this can cause apprehension. People have no problem inquiring about my intentions to study here, and I have no problem being blunt in saying I came to the school because I love and support the teachings of the Church and want to communicate that to everyone, not change them.).
These are just some of the uncertainties I held as a result of more general and specific warnings before embarking on my adventure here. To be quite honest though, I have encountered very few of these issues in my first year here.
Yes, politics are a reality of the human institution of the Church, but more than anything, the supernatural beauty and power of the Lord's action in his Church has struck me.
Every time I am blessed to go to a papal event, or an ordination, or a trip to a holy pilgrimage site, I think "Now this is the coolest thing I have experienced so far. The Lord's love has never felt so tangible and the true awesomeness of the faith has never been so clear." What this has taught me is that the Lord's goodness can not be limited by our poor expectations of Him. I am constantly reminded that He desires our greatest happiness, and once that we think that has been realized, He takes it a step farther.
Being a lay person, especially a lay woman, in the land of seminarians and priests has actually taught me the true appreciation the Church has for the laity and women. I realize a novel could be written on this topic and maybe I will elaborate more later on, but I have never felt so valued as a person and as a woman as I have at my university. Chivalry and respect are the norm, but my independence and competence is also fully respected; these two concepts are complementary. The Church has always recognized the unique dignity of women and I have been able to experience that in a concrete way this year.
My age has also never been an issue. I think more often than not I am selling myself short. My input has always been respected, and although I feel like the young kid of the group faking it until I make it, I am actually viewed as a young professional with something to offer.
There are only a million other blessings I received this year, and I hope to elaborate on them more in depth in future posts (now that I am almost done with classes I will have more time!), but all in all the running theme is the same; I love the Lord and all of the blessings he has showered upon me this year. I have been pleasantly surprised by the beauty of this experience and I look forward to the graces that will come in the upcoming years.
I ask for your prayers as I go through my last few weeks of finals, and be assured of my prayers for you.
Totus Tuus Maria!
Leslie
PS- Check out the video I made for my class for the end of the year...it's a little glimpse into my life inside and outside of school (warning..it's in Italian).
When one is about to move to another country or make a huge life change, there are two main things that happen; you receive more advice than you could ever know what to do with, and you are warned of all of the possible things that could go wrong.
Before moving to Rome, I actively sought advice, but all of the warnings made me a tad nervous.
The typical, "Watch out for your purse, pickpocketers are sneaky there!" or "Be careful of the cabs you choose, not all of them are official and they will try to rip you off," were frequent warnings and very good to be aware of, but there was one warning that actually made me nervous.
"You are going to the heart of the Church, which is beautiful, but you are also going to the heart of the politics of the Church...don't be surprised if you become disenchanted with the faith."
That is a strong warning...and several people shared this sentiment.
I am no stranger to Church politics. My college experience taught me very well that those who work for the Church are human just like the rest of us, and this leads to frustration and politics regardless of the supernatural mission of the Church.
Given this warning, I came to Rome expecting to experience the politics everyone was referring to; to become frustrated with being one of only a handful of lay people in a school full of seminarians and priests, to be less respected because I am one of the youngest students in my program, and to be misunderstood in my intentions in studying at the school because I am a woman (Occasionally people think women studying at pontifical universities/for the Church in general are in favor of women's ordination to the priesthood so this can cause apprehension. People have no problem inquiring about my intentions to study here, and I have no problem being blunt in saying I came to the school because I love and support the teachings of the Church and want to communicate that to everyone, not change them.).
These are just some of the uncertainties I held as a result of more general and specific warnings before embarking on my adventure here. To be quite honest though, I have encountered very few of these issues in my first year here.
Yes, politics are a reality of the human institution of the Church, but more than anything, the supernatural beauty and power of the Lord's action in his Church has struck me.
Every time I am blessed to go to a papal event, or an ordination, or a trip to a holy pilgrimage site, I think "Now this is the coolest thing I have experienced so far. The Lord's love has never felt so tangible and the true awesomeness of the faith has never been so clear." What this has taught me is that the Lord's goodness can not be limited by our poor expectations of Him. I am constantly reminded that He desires our greatest happiness, and once that we think that has been realized, He takes it a step farther.
Being a lay person, especially a lay woman, in the land of seminarians and priests has actually taught me the true appreciation the Church has for the laity and women. I realize a novel could be written on this topic and maybe I will elaborate more later on, but I have never felt so valued as a person and as a woman as I have at my university. Chivalry and respect are the norm, but my independence and competence is also fully respected; these two concepts are complementary. The Church has always recognized the unique dignity of women and I have been able to experience that in a concrete way this year.
My age has also never been an issue. I think more often than not I am selling myself short. My input has always been respected, and although I feel like the young kid of the group faking it until I make it, I am actually viewed as a young professional with something to offer.
There are only a million other blessings I received this year, and I hope to elaborate on them more in depth in future posts (now that I am almost done with classes I will have more time!), but all in all the running theme is the same; I love the Lord and all of the blessings he has showered upon me this year. I have been pleasantly surprised by the beauty of this experience and I look forward to the graces that will come in the upcoming years.
I ask for your prayers as I go through my last few weeks of finals, and be assured of my prayers for you.
Totus Tuus Maria!
Leslie
PS- Check out the video I made for my class for the end of the year...it's a little glimpse into my life inside and outside of school (warning..it's in Italian).
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